Confessions of a Closet Helicopter Dad
Today, I’m coming clean. There’s something I need to confess to all of you. On several occasions, I have made fun of helicopter parents. I’ve made derogatory statements about perfectionist parents who tend to be over-protective, controlling and obsessively involved in the lives of their children. This is a horrible thing for a pastor to admit, but it’s true. If you’re one of those parents, I am sorry. As a student pastor, I made fun of you when you served on the youth staff just so you could be closer to your middle school child. I rolled my eyes at you when you volunteered as a chaperone and I privately mocked you when you brought gluten free snacks into your child’s Sunday school class. I laughed under my breath when you passionately made your argument about the best way educate your child. So, I’m asking you to forgive me. I’m seriously admitting to you that I was wrong. I was being judgmental and prideful when I thought these things about you.
As hard as this might be for me to admit, you have actually encouraged me to follow your example. Now that I have two children who are driving, guess what I say every time they leave the house? “Be careful…don’t take any chances…call me when you get there!” Guess who now has strong opinions and gives unsolicited advice about parenting? When my kids are in trouble or facing a crisis, guess who wants to run to the rescue and fix everything? You got it. Faile D (aka. Helicopter Dad). That’s right; I have to finally admit that being a helicopter parent is a good thing. I realize now that there were times in my life as a parent when I should have been doing a lot more hovering.
So what do I do now? I proudly hover. I might not hover as closely as I should, but I’m still there, not too far away, caring, loving, guiding, affirming…hovering. As fathers, isn’t that our job? God wants us to hover over our children with HIS truths. We are told to repeat these truths again and again to our children…“Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:5-9) Hmmm, sounds like a lot of hovering! How can I do this job effectively if I’m not hovering close to my children?
Yesterday, I attended a Men’s Bible study where I heard about a Heavenly Father who sounded a lot like a “Helicopter Dad.” I realize now that there’s a reason helicopter dad’s hover over their children. In Matthew 17, we are told that Jesus took Peter, James and John up on a mountain to pray with them. The worship got so intense that Moses and Elijah showed up and the face of Jesus became as bright as the sun. Sounds like a great worship service, but things got even better when the hovering Heavenly Father showed up. Verse five says, “A bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is My dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Listen to him.” (Matthew 17:5) There are three things every child needs to hear from their father. “I love you.” “I’m proud of you.” and “Good job!” Jesus was dearly loved by His Father. I want my kids to know how much I love them. Jesus brought great joy to His Father because He was proud of Him. I want my kids to know how proud I am of them. God wanted the disciples to listen to Jesus because of the good work He was doing. When my children do a good job, I need to tell them. A helicopter dad gets this. He realizes that he can’t speak these all important truths to his children unless he’s hovering close to his children. The Heavenly Father was always hovering close to the Son and the Son was always aware of the Father’s presence in His life. What a great example!
Thank you Helicopter parents. I appreciate your example as well. Thank you for showing me why it’s important to hover close to my kids. Dads, right now, get out a piece of paper and write a letter to your children…regardless of their age. Tell them these three things today. Tell them how much you love them. Remind them that you are proud of them and tell them what they’re good at. Stay close…They need you.
