THE ANATOMY OF A PETTIFOGGER
PETTIFOGGER noun pet·ti·fog·ger - Someone who quibbles over trivia, and raises petty, annoying objections.
I know…it sounds gross, but I just love this word! While we don’t see the word “pettifogger” much these days, we certainly hear Pettifoggers whining on a regular basis via social media. You might even meet a pettifogger at your local church. These are typically the self-appointed guardians of truth who feel it is their duty to protect God's people. That’s where I had my first encounter with a pettifogger. My dad used to warn me that preaching isn’t for sissies. “David” he said, “your preaching WILL be the subject around the lunch table on Sunday afternoons.” That’s Dad’s way of saying my preaching will constantly be scrutinized by nitpickers. To some, pettifogging is a gift. Don’t get me wrong. We (I) need these detail-driven brothers and sisters checking the details and keeping us (me) on track. I’m not faulting them for paying attention to details. It’s what they do. I’m just encouraging them to consider WHEN it is most appropriate to hammer us with unrelated, unimportant details. A Pettifogger simply takes their love affair with knowledge to another level.
Charles Spurgeon put it this way, “Our days are few, and are far better spent in doing good, than in disputing over matters which are, at best, of minor importance…. Questions upon points wherein Scripture is silent; upon mysteries which belong to God alone; upon prophecies of doubtful interpretation; and upon mere modes of observing human ceremonials, are all foolish, and wise men avoid them.” Hmmm..."Mysteries that belong to God." That covers just about everything. Not bad advise! By nature, Pettifoggers think they know more than the people they annoy, and they pride themselves on being right. It sounds like Spurgeon is saying it’s OK to let some things slide. I know it’s hard to believe, but every subject under the sun doesn’t require my detailed commentary
So, how can a Pettifogger change his/her pettifogging ways? (Yes…the P-count is at 12. I TOLD you that I love this word!)
1. TRUST MORE
Try being a little less suspicious of others. A person given to caviling generally has a hard time trusting. When someone gets ripped apart over minor details, it fractures relationships beyond repair. I remember when my oldest son hit middle school; I let him cut the grass for the very first time. He was so excited and did as good a job as any eleven-year-old boy could have done. When he finished, I remember picking apart every little thing he did wrong. “The line isn’t straight enough! You missed that spot around the tree! What will the neighbors think?” Unfortunately, I also remember the look on his face when I was carrying on about all those insignificant details. He was hurt. I’m sure I had that same look on my face years later when a pettifogging work associate demonstrated their lack of trust in my competency as a Pastor. It hurts. Trust is the foundation of any human relationship. Trust creates a feeling of belonging and safety, but pettifogging has the potential of destroying those relationships. Trust begets trust, and it’s hard to trust a nitpicker with your emotions. The good news is that broken trust can be restored (but it takes time). Trusting means giving people the benefit of doubt. Trust we are working hard to understand your superior point of view...and forgive us when we just don’t get it. Secondly...
2. FOCUS ON WHAT REALLY MATTERS
The bearded one, CH Spurgeon, goes on to say, “There are, however, some questions which are the reverse of foolish, which we must not avoid, but fairly and honestly meet, such as these: Do I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ? Am I renewed in the spirit of my mind? Am I walking not after the flesh, but after the Spirit? Am I growing in grace? Does my conversation adorn the doctrine of God my Savior? Am I looking for the coming of the Lord, and watching as a servant should do who expects his master? What more can I do for Jesus? Such enquiries as these urgently demand our attention; and if we have been at all given to caviling, let us now turn our critical abilities to a service so much more profitable. Let us be peacemakers, and endeavor to lead others both by our precept and example, to "avoid foolish questions." (Titus 3:9) Now that sounds like a great list of priorities. Good stuff!
Pettifoggers are consumed with the truth. That is their greatest quality, but it also gets them in trouble sometimes. Truth matters, but the here's a "truth" that many Pettifoggers seem to forget. People matter to God too. They are created in HIS image and for His glory. (Genesis 1:26) If ALL people matter to God, then they should matter to me. “Getting the facts right” is important, but NOT at the expense of ruining our relationships. Just ask all the Americans who lost life-long friends over the recent election. Chances are, one or both of those people were guilty of pettifogging. Pettifoggers have a really hard time seeing the face beyond their facts. People mattered to Jesus. Scripture shows us that He consistently put the needs of others above His own. At the last supper, He wrapped a towel around His waste and washed the disciples' feet. (John 13:2-17) By the way, while He was serving, He was talking about things that really matter. His life of service culminated at the cross, where He died to pay our spiritual debt. God's priority is people! His priority is helping a homeless man find shelter before nightfall. His priority is finding a home for a foster child or orphan. His priority is taking that midnight phone call from a struggling friend. My knowledge on any given subject doesn’t matter to God, but my obedience DOES. Attention Pettifoggers: Stop quibbling with everyone you disagree with and DO SOMETHING for them...then share the uncomplicated, uncluttered, simple Gospel with them. Do something that matters!
Finally…
3. RELAX
As we used to say in the 80’s… “Dude…take a chill-pill!” Pettifoggers can get pretty uptight. They have to get you to agree with them and convince you their way is always the right way. You may have a great idea, but if it doesn't line up with their detailed way of thinking, they’re sure to hit you with even MORE unnecessary information. Generally speaking people don’t enjoy being around Pettifoggers because of their inability to relax. I think it’s that dangerous mixture of stress and exhaustion. You're stressed because we can’t seem to please you and we're exhausted because you just won’t stop talking. No offense.
To my last point; it’s much easier to relax when you are engaged in meaningful service to others. I am never more "relaxed" than when I’m making a difference in someone else’s life. You might be engaged in a crazy-hard task, but it won’t even seem like work at all because you're prioritizing what God says is important...loving people. Here’s a great question to ask yourself. Will your obsession with these details change ANYTHING…other than helping you win a few rounds of Trivial Pursuit? Relax. Sure, we may have another useless piece of information to occupy the limited space we have between our ears, but does it really matter? Please PLEASE relax.
Swallow your pride and admit you MIGHT get it wrong every now and then. It’s SO freeing not having to always be right. As parents, let your children see you make a few mistakes. Let them hear you admit you're wrong for a change, and DON'T spare them those details. They’ll probably respect you more for it. The way I see it, there are so many wonderful things to gain from swallowing our pride. Things like creativity humility and yes, PEACE. Just let it go. Let me say it ONE more time...Relax.
So stop pettifogging! Instead of telling you to shut up, I’ll just encourage you to relax, prioritize what’s important and trust the good people around you. We’ll be glad you did.
