LOSING YOUR FIRST LOVE ...and getting it back
I recently made a post on social media about theological pride and how it can negatively affect the church. I said that one of the greatest qualities of a spiritual leader is humility before God. I even suggested this quality was more important than our theological knowledge or expositional accuracy. A humble sister in Christ made a good observation in her reply. "Pride affects all of us, not just the pastors and elders who are called to humbly lead our congregations." I agreed with my sister and my response to her was measured...being that I call myself a shepherd with great responsibility to humbly shepherd the flock. In that exchange, I was reminded how often I have struggled with this thing called pride. Pastors aren't excempt from this horrible evil. I know many pastors and elders who have genuine heart knowledge and are doctrinally sound, yet lack this thing called humility.
I basically told her that regardless of the issue or profession, our actions toward others often reveals where our hearts are. I wasn't just talking about the WAY we directly speak to others. I was also considering the way we speak ABOUT those with whom we disagree. The reason I directed my post toward spiritual leaders is because we have a great responsibility. We also love the Word of God. It's part of our job description and calling. It's what we do. I'm a firm believer that we should handle the Word of God with diligence and gain all the Biblical knowledge about God that we possibly can, but the attitudes we carry with us when we debate and discuss these heated issues will either draw others to the Gospel of Christ or repel them away. I seriously considered leaving the ministry several years ago because of PBB. (And I'm not talking about peanut butter and banana sandwiches) I'm talking about Pastors Behaving Badly.
In Revelation chapter two, Jesus addresses the church in Ephesus. He was talking to church people...including church leaders. He acknowledged their work on behalf of the Gospel, and their hatred of false teaching. He knew they were doing all these things for His glory alone, yet He said He had one thing against them: “You have abandoned your first love.” (Rev. 2:4)
I've personally witnessed similar theological pride in some Gospel-loving circles today. I've even been the recipient of some of their prideful attacks. I'm sure these brothers in Christ aren't too different from the church at Ephesus. They work tirelessly for the Gospel. They go to Gospel conferences, read books about the Gospel and listen to podcasts that consistently celebrate the Gospel. There's no question these guys love the Gospel. And what about the false teaching? They also read books about the "bad guys." You might even find them using their social networking platforms to criticize and mock these false teachers on a regular basis. Their love for the truth is second to none. And if you're paying close attention, it's pretty clear that everything they do is for the glory of God. As a matte of fact, Soli Deo gloria is one of five catch phrases that they use often.
So what's the problem? They seem like they are doing everything right. Well, here's the way I see it. Their zeal for truth somehow gave them the green light to behave badly and treat other Christians with contempt. When there is an abundance of zeal, there is often a lack of love and when we lack love, there is usually a lack of humility. Humility is a byproduct of love. When we abandon our first love, we aren't losing our salvation. Rather, we are losing our ability to humbly speak the truth in love. By the way, it's impossible to speak the truth in love when our words and actions don't match. When we abandon our first love, we are losing our ability to humbly work with others who might have slightly different theological viewpoints than us. When we lose our first love, criticism is our first response and talking about a brother in Christ behind his back becomes acceptable protocol. With just a few hurtful words our humble orthodoxy goes out the window.
How did this happen in Ephesus, and how is it possible to persevere in Gospel ministry today without this necessary ingredient of love? Somewhere in their pursuit of God's Truth, they simply lost the tender love they once had for people. Perhaps their ecclesiastical preferences became more important than those they were called to serve...people created in the image of God. People matter to God, and if they matter to him they should matter to me...even when I disagree with them. Another way we can abandon our first love is when we let our passions control us. The danger of pride lurks behind many of the strong convictions we have. It might be a theological issue pertaining to doctrine or preaching...or it might be a political one dealing with taxes & healthcare. As a pastor, I see this often when a knowledgeable brother quickly accuses another preacher of “heresy.” While we should never endorse heretical teaching, we should be slow to accuse anyone of that hefty title just because they don’t share the same conviction we have about non-essentials. I'm sure there are many other ways, but those are just a couple that quickly come to mind.
So do you want to know how to get back your first love? I do too!
Just do what Jesus told the Ephesians to do in Revelation 2:5. "Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first."
CONSIDER: Just think about it. Pray about it. With a humble spirit, ask God to reveal where you presently are. Genuinely ask Him "How far have I fallen?" Consider how I treat people...both inside and outside of the church. Consider my words. Am I combative in spirit or do I genuinely have a desire to be unified with all people? My actions (and lack of action) says a lot about my heart. Consider my priorities. Do I major on the minors? Do I prioritize systems and structures more than the people these systems and structures are designed to help? Do I prioritize MY preferences above other's? The list goes on.
REPENT: Turn around! Remember how you used to treat people when you first came to Christ? After repenting to God, how about saying "I'm sorry" to someone you have hurt. Simply make a course correction and turn around. Have you repented and taken responsibility for YOUR actions in a conflict? Have you pursued peace in broken relationships at home, work or at church? Repent...turn around! Do everything you can to make things right. It's easy to lose our first love, but it can be just as easy getting that love back. Jesus says, "Consider & Repent." And by the way...Jesus went on to say, "If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lamp stand from its place." This is all about influence. There's no quicker way to lose your influence in a church and community than to abandon your first love...and then willfully refuse to change.
My friend, I don't care how much Biblical knowledge you have...God can and will take His hand of blessing off your life if you abandon what He loves. Wow...that a pretty harsh way to end what was intended to be an encouraging post. I guess now every time I eat a Peanut Butter & Banana sandwich, I'm going think about the danger of Pastors Behaving Badly. But it's probably best just to eat more humble pie...with a little bit of justice and mercy on the side. (Micah 6:8)
