THE GIFT OF TRUST
A few years ago I heard about a Christian ministry that spent thousands of dollars on a consulting agency to help them with some relational dysfunction in their organization. After weeks of observation, interviews and surveys, the consultants came back to the leaders of this ministry and told them that among other things, they had a huge trust issue. A strong philosophical divide on the leadership team resulted in poor communication and ultimately led to gossip and mistrust. This organization sufferred from something I like to call "The Diotrephes Syndrome."
Diotrephes was a proud, disrespectful leader in the early church who had a really hard time trusting. The good news for the ministry mentioned earlier is that Diotrephes is proof that this kind of bad behavior has always been with us. Look what John said about him...
"I wrote to the church about this, but Diotrephes, who loves to be the leader, refuses to have anything to do with us. When I come, I will report some of the things he is doing and the evil accusations he is making against us. Not only does he refuse to welcome the traveling teachers, he also tells others not to help them. And when they do help, he puts them out of the church." (3 John 9, 10)
Wow. Have you ever met a leader like that? If you don't agree with them...you better watch out! Diotrephese was given the gift of trust as a leader, and he abused it. Mistrust breeds mistrust. Diotrephes obviously had some trust issues, but the truth is, he's the one who couldn't be trusted. Sometimes leaders can't be trusted...even Christian leaders. They'll ignore you, and like Diotrephes, occasionally even gossip. Trust is a gift to be treasured. When you are given the gift of trust, it means someone values you. To be trusted is to be genuinely loved and given a seat at the table. To be trusted is to be positively affirmed by others that God has given you gifts that are to be used for His glory. Diotrephes did none of these things.
But think about it. Would YOU trust someone like Diotrephes? I sure wouldn't. He not only neglected to value the people God placed around him, he shunned them. The irony is that the people who lack trust are usually the ones who can't be trusted. I guess that's why John went on to say this about Diotrephes...
"Dear friend, don’t let this bad example influence you. Follow only what is good. Remember that those who do good prove that they are God’s children, and those who do evil prove that they do not know God." (3 John 11)
While the consultants mentioned earlier never addressed some of the bad behavior that was revealed, they did end up giving some pretty good advice. "If you can't get on the same philosophical page" they said, "it might be best to just part ways." Not bad advice for thousands of dollars. At the end of the day, some of the leaders opted to leave this organization when it was clear trust and unity wasn't going be an option. I'm sure that had to be a hard decision for them. I'm equally sure that their leaving was much better than the constant mistrust.
God wants all of us to be trustworthy....especially leaders. Do YOU want to be trusted? Then don't be a Diotrephes. Walk in integrity and put others before yourself. Fight for unity as long as you can and refuse to say anything negative about others. They are NOT your enemy! Be willing to welcome other leaders onto your team, even if they're a little different than you. Above all else, treat people with kindness and respect...even those who might disagree with you. Do you want to give someone a great gift this Christmas? Give them the gift of trust. It might be a little risky and take you out of your comfort zone, but do it anyway. Besides, aren't you glad someone took a chance on you?
On the subject of gift-giving. My dad wrote a book in 1994 entitled Satan Goes to Church (The Battle For Church Control). In this book, he highlights the bad example of Diotrephes mentioned in III John 9-11 and gives the Biblical mandate for resolving strife and confusion in many modern day churches. Leadership is a gift to be treasured and it shouldn't be taken lightly. I would like to offer this book as a Christmas gift to all of my friends in church leadership. If you're a Pastor, Elder, Deacon or Lay-Person involved in Christian ministry and would like to have this book, it would be my pleasure to give it to you. If you live out of town, I would just ask you to help me with the cost of shipping. "Trust me!" If you invest the time to thoughtfully read this Biblically based book on Church Leadership, I promise you will be better equiped in ministry. Merry Christmas!
Please e-mail me if you're interested. dfaile@disciples.com
